Best Served Cold

I have a friend who is militantly seeking revenge on an ex-boyfriend. She's been plotting some creative and not-so-creative ways to make him suffer for the inconvenience he has put her through by not worshipping the light that springs from her every pore. (She's a tad dramatic, that one).

I have long known that I'm no good at this revenge stuff. I tell people when they have made me upset, I forgive and forget, and I can't seem to hold a grudge to save my life. But this revenge thing has gotten me thinking. If I were to set out to avenge myself against every boy who has disappointed me, I would probably do it here, in my blog. Where everyone I know (who probably knows them as well) could see it. I would make it, say, a multiple choice quiz. One where everyone could try to figure out which embarrassing fact matched up with which distinguished gentleman. "Libel! Slander!" they could protest - I would just cooly smile back. After all, truth is an absolute defense and something about that strikes me just right. I'll tell no lies, but boy will I be honest if you make me mad!

Okay, I would never actually do any of that. I think it would be tacky. But maybe I do have a little taste for this revenge stuff. All the same, I'm going to try to keep my friend away from the voodoo dolls.