Reflections on the Mortal Coil
"I should tell you that my partner, (John Doe), was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about 4 weeks ago. It was a shock. Last week, (John's) doctors told him that he's got 2 weeks to live. Another shock. All very sad. I'm performing triage on some of (John's) litigation and other matters. I apologize for delay in responding to your e-mail.
Rest assured that all work is going forward professionally and on time."
____________________
This was in an email that I got from our local counsel in Atlanta today and my reaction to it amazes me. My absolutely first thought was wondering how on earth John would wrap up things at the office. What the hell is wrong with me?
I'm reminded of that old saying that no one's tombstone says that they wished they spent more time at the office. If I had two weeks left, I would spend each and every minute of it doing the things I have always wanted to do. I would take everyone I loved around the world. I would slow dance each night, eat nothing but cheesecake, and probably never sleep. Why waste a single minute with so few left? I would NOT go into the office. Who's going to sue me for malpractice when I'm dead? Instead I would spend every moment telling the people who matter to me that I love them. I would call people who have wronged me and tell them that I forgive them. I would buy lavish gifts for my friends as something to remember me by. I would feed ducks, hold babies, sit in the sunshine, and kiss every handsome man who passed by.
The part of the email that bothered me most, though, was the last line. The guy who sent it has been John's friend for twenty years. I would want those around me to say "to heck with professionalism, we're going to have to postpone things, I have to spend time saying goodbye."
Losing my friend Justin a few years ago was incredibly sudden. One day he was here, talking about the new job he was starting, and literally the next day he was gone. If I found out I had two weeks - or even two days - left I would do all of the things I wish he had the opportunity to do. I would make amends and say goodbye.
I feel horrible for John, but in a way he's lucky. He has the opportunity that so many others don't get. He can make sure that his last words to people most important to him are "I love you." In the meantime, he and his family are in my prayers.
Rest assured that all work is going forward professionally and on time."
____________________
This was in an email that I got from our local counsel in Atlanta today and my reaction to it amazes me. My absolutely first thought was wondering how on earth John would wrap up things at the office. What the hell is wrong with me?
I'm reminded of that old saying that no one's tombstone says that they wished they spent more time at the office. If I had two weeks left, I would spend each and every minute of it doing the things I have always wanted to do. I would take everyone I loved around the world. I would slow dance each night, eat nothing but cheesecake, and probably never sleep. Why waste a single minute with so few left? I would NOT go into the office. Who's going to sue me for malpractice when I'm dead? Instead I would spend every moment telling the people who matter to me that I love them. I would call people who have wronged me and tell them that I forgive them. I would buy lavish gifts for my friends as something to remember me by. I would feed ducks, hold babies, sit in the sunshine, and kiss every handsome man who passed by.
The part of the email that bothered me most, though, was the last line. The guy who sent it has been John's friend for twenty years. I would want those around me to say "to heck with professionalism, we're going to have to postpone things, I have to spend time saying goodbye."
Losing my friend Justin a few years ago was incredibly sudden. One day he was here, talking about the new job he was starting, and literally the next day he was gone. If I found out I had two weeks - or even two days - left I would do all of the things I wish he had the opportunity to do. I would make amends and say goodbye.
I feel horrible for John, but in a way he's lucky. He has the opportunity that so many others don't get. He can make sure that his last words to people most important to him are "I love you." In the meantime, he and his family are in my prayers.
posted by Lisa at 9:11 PM
3 Comments:
Lisa, I suspect you noticed on my site that one of my colleagues at BOP News passed away suddenly and unexpectedly last week. Losing oldman has been a tremendous, tremendous shock for me.
His death has also reminded me how much I value my various online friendships. I know I don't post here often, but I hope you know that I greatly enjoy your writing and I think the world of you. It is high time I remind you all that in case you don't know.
Shaula-
I noticed the passing of your friend after I had written this. My heart goes out to you and all who are touched by not only his death, but his life as well.
In other coincidences, we ought to start a mutual admiration society. I thank you for your kind words but would likewise take the opportunity to let you know that I'm in awe of the facility with which you write and the perspective you give the world with your words. Add to that your generous nature and a strong dose of humor, and I consider myself privileged to "know" you.
And for the rest of you out there - Shaula's not the only one. Many of you brighten my day, make me laugh, make me think, or make me cry on a regular basis. Thank you for that.
Hi Lisa,
I saw your comment on Water Weaving about Molly Ivins, who I admire as a straight shooter, and I read the email about the friend and coleague who was dying soon.
I am, maybe, past middle age now and as time goes along death becomes a more common part of life.
So many friends and relatives have passed away in my life now and I am sure many others will be passing in the coming years.
It is not always easy to deal with and I am sorry to go on so but I sympathize and realize how important it is to make the most of our time.
Happy Holidays and enjoy!
Dicky Neely
Post a Comment
<< Home