On Gratitude

At a Christmas party a couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with Keith's wife (with his prior permission). After she had told several friends of mine how much she disliked me and how dismayed she was that they had invited me to their Christmas party, I was more than a little put out. So we had the "we-don't-have-to-be-friends-but-your-husband-is-one-of-my-best friends-so-I-plan-on-making-it-very-hard-for-you-to-dislike-me" talk. Apparently it didn't work.

I didn't want to upset her with the gifts I gave this year, but I wanted to give their kid some cool gifts and Keith wanted a book. I didn't want it to look like I was trying to buy her off (I would if I thought it would work) so I went the thoughtful route instead. She likes Christmas ornaments, she has a thing for giraffes, okay. A pretty giraffe ornament was wrapped and waiting for her.

Keith said she liked it until she found out it was from me. As it turns out, it's a good thing I left the tags off the gifts for the baby. Keith says she thinks they are the neatest thing ever but that she'd hate them if she knew from whence they came. I understand that thank you is the traditional response to any gift, but her outright disdain sort of offends me. I feel like telling her that I'm a permanent fixture - she may be as well, but then again she could just as easily be gone in a few years - but I don't. After all, I'm being nice.

But I wish, even if it were through clenched teeth, that she would say thanks. She doesn't even have to mean it, but I would appreciate even an attempt at civility on her part.